That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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