But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
