Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
