I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
