oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Randomize