its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
