have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
