Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize