i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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