real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
