I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
