The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
