Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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