Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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