Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
