Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
