Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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