went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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