He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
