how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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