i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
A+ Viking dick
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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