i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
