pop tarts are not kleenex
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I have post one night stand depression
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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