billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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