ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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