Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
