I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He felt like a one man threesome
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
