My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
