I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize