need another drink. this is the easiest way
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You're like the curious george of whores
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
