Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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