everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
