When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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