The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
