And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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