just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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