Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
