Already got asked if we're dating
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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