I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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