Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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