the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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