I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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