shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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