I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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