This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize