# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize