he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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