there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
