i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
