Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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