There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
