I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
