They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
