I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
