found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize