Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
