Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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