Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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