my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
