Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
