Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
