Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
