That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
