Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
