i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Are my feet made of real feet?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
